They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
