letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
