If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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