she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize