don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
