Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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