So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
