I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
