It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
