Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
do herpes really smell.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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