I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
