I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
