Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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