you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
