Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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