I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize