Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
