was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
