Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
