On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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