just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
