need another drink. this is the easiest way
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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