tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
