And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we made out on top of his cat.
honey bunches of taint.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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