we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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