When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
