Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
