I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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