after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
