I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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