if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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