Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
