OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize