I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
