Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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