haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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