Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize
