bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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