As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
be right there i have to get my cape
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
