dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
what day is it and did you see me today?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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