This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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