she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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