What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize