Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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