May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
