Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
