She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
