I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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