you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
