I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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