im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
you made out with another girl for some wings
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
