I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
