I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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