im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
