Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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