Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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