Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
