i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
