Nicole vs. Life
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Did I show you my penis last night?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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