Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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