sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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