If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
