We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
