This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
