let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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