You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
