Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
