The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
