According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
